Love Actually

Here's my take on what happened at Mangalore. Our poor ineligible bachelor wanted just 10 seconds of fame.He kept whining about how non-entities and terrorists get so much TV coverage nowadays to his fellow non-entities.They came up with a brilliant plan. Since they were already non-entities they just had to fulfill the terrorist criterion as well.
After much brainstorming they came up with nothing.So they got drunk and decided to get even more sloshed at a pub where they were denied entry ofcourse.This must have hurt their fragile male egos.So they decided to take on women in the pub since female foeticide, wife beating and attrocities against women are pretty much the norm in this country. This way they satisfied the terrorist criterion as well.And what have we!!!!! Muthalik and his band of crazy men are more popular than the Pope.
Fame, they say is addictive. And hence the whole ban on Valentine's day and "its against Indian culture" blah.Muthalik is the man you know. Women are sending pink chaddis to him in droves.Must be loving(oops I used the taboo word) it, with due respect to Indian culture.Kinky chap!! :).But he must pretend to be a virtuous "Indian" and send all the women saris in return. Probably his way of saying "Heyy saris are more comfy than pink thongs.I've tried them myself.You've got to let it all hang out baby "
My personal favourite tactic is getting unmarried couples seen hanging around together on Feb 14th married off.Heyy what happens to the married lot???? dude you've got to be clear with your agenda.Is it Valentine's day you are against or does seeing unmarried couples make you go green with envy?? Please decide or you'll just come across sounding like a hypocrite.Women dont find that sexy(oops I did it again).Just say I wont tolerate Valentine's day irrespective of people's marital status(and pray like mad that some woman finds that irreristible) or just go on air and make puppy eyes and say "Somebody love me .. Please!!!!". I have a feeling the second option will work out better.
If you dont change your game plan now buddy I'm sure you'll never get what you secretly hope to get(some TLC I say :) ). When William Congreve said "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" he must've known something that you dont.